I took a Subway to Dissapointment Station and no Sandwishes were granted

As a free service to our loyal customers, Big G often takes one for the team and goes out to try the worst pulled pork sandwiches produced by restaurants that obviously know nothing about proper pulled pork. I do this in order to save you the time, money and heartache of terrible corporate flavoured pulled pork. First it was Harvey's pork slop on a soggy bun. 0/5. Stick to burgers guys. Then it was Tim Horton's pork mush on a ciabatta bun. Why a donut and coffee place thought they should give pulled pork a whirl escapes me to this day. 1/5.

Today I bring you the joy of Subway and their claim that they would make my sandwishes come true.

It all started last month during a seemingly endless barrage of commercials showing a guy complaining that the pulled pork his buddy was making would take 5 hours. Oh no, not five hours! The humanity! There's so many things wrong with that statement, where do I even start? First off, 5 hour pulled pork? No thanks. Proper pulled pork takes a good 10-12 hours to cook, another couple hours to rest, another hour to pull, then five minutes to eat. That's just how it works. Secondly, half the fun of making pulled pork is hanging out in the backyard, drinking beers, tending to the pork and making a full day of it with friends and family. But I digress. Now that Subway has entered the realm of pulled porkery, it was my duty, nay, my obligation to try it out. So here goes nothing.

As far as "sandwishes" go, my first wish was that the sandwich would look remotely like it did in the commercial. As you can see from the photographic evidence, this was a dismal fail. My second wish was that the pork would be something that remotely tasted like pulled pork. Sadly, another dismal fail. It was a thimble full of something resembling pork put on a subway bun, covered with cheese and their house "BBQ" sauce. The pork. They should call it a steamed pork sandwich because it was a soggy mess that not even toasting could salvage. The bun, well it was a subway bun, meh. If I had a dime for every good pulled pork sandwich I've ever had on a sub bun, I would have ZERO dimes. The cheese, a necessary evil to make this monstrosity go down, was white and tasted like air. The sauce was a generic bullseye type thing resembling McDonald's BBQ nugget sauce. All together it tasted like wet pork meat on a sponge. 1/5. Here's my third wish. Please Subway, stop making pulled pork.

Too late. This month they have introduced the "Korean BBQ" Pulled Pork Sandwich. Third wish officially not granted. I can only assume they had so much pork left over from last month's failed promotion that they needed something to use up what was left. Why not just slap the words "Korean BBQ" in front of it and problem solved, right? As a big fan of Korean BBQ, I felt the need to see what damage they would inflict upon Korean cuisine. All I can say is that the most Korean thing about this sandwich was the Hyundai I drove to pick it up in. It was last month's pork on the same old bun, with a sauce that tasted more like sugar and pepper than it did anything Korean. I put some spinach on it because that's what the picture showed. The spinach was the best part. 0/5.

I just noticed Burger King has released a pulled pork sandwich. I can't do it....I tap!

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